Like a Feather, Really

I went for a walk yesterday. Generally, I’ve been avoiding them, except for taking the two-year-old around the block on his bike, which makes a normally ten minute walk take an hour and a half. I’ve been theoretically resting more, which is barely happening since I do have two active toddlers at home. I’m 27 ½ weeks pregnant, and our goal is to go as long as possible without my having to go on bed rest (which happened at 30 weeks last time) and to make the pregnancy last as long as possible.

First of all, I have to confess something. Sometimes I feel guilty being pregnant again. Sure, we’ve always wanted three kids and we’re thrilled to be getting there (though yes, the reality is kicking in and we’re a bit scared). But I generally feel that I shouldn’t take on any project that I can’t reasonably undertake by myself. For example, if I want to go crazy building a castle cake for my son, if I’m willing to stay up until 2am doing so and being tired for the party the next day, that’s my business. But if I plan this party assuming and expecting that people will come and help, and know that I can’t pull off the party without depending on other people, then that’s not really fair. I figure I can accept help if offered, and I can ask for help (within reason), but I shouldn’t assume help. Okay, I do have both moms cook for the event, but I ask them nicely and they like helping, and everyone seems to like the Indian food more than the other food, and they like the praise and can do the cooking on their own time, and anyhow it’s different, right? It’s Mom.

But with this pregnancy, the likelihood is that I’ll be going on bed rest. My mom keeps telling me not to talk like that, that maybe this time things will go differently. Sure. Whatever. But anyhow, is it right for me to then expect others to help me out when I am knowingly putting myself in a situation where I will require the assistance of others? Is it fair? I mean, it’s one thing if we hire a nanny or a babysitter, but to expect family members to come out and take care of me… But then again, that’s part of being in a family, isn’t it? When my mother-in-law needed a ride to a doctor’s appointment, I took her. When my dad needed me to type up and email a document for him (and consequently create an email account for him), I did it. We need each other, we help each other. When my parents’ family room needed to be redone because I was sick of it, well, you get the point. And, of course, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it the whole time. That’s what family is about.

But my point was, if you follow the link at the top of this entry, there’s an image of some woman in China who is pregnant with at least 5 kids. And I swear it looks fake. She can’t possibly be that big. I mean, sure, if she is pregnant with five kids, they’ve got to be somewhere, but she’s standing. In fact, it looks like she’s walking around outside. Wow. I gotta say, that’s one strong woman. I don’t care how little those babies are. It’s an amazing sight.

And you know, seeing that picture made me feel a whole lot smaller (physically, not psychologically), and a heck of a lot more comfortable in my pregnancy. I no longer fear the coming central-air-free summer months that will be the backdrop of my third trimester. I’ll have to be careful not to let this feel-good attitude overdo it any more than I already am, but at least now I can just enjoy this pregnancy more by stressing a little less.

Now, if we could just come up with a name…