Potty Mouth

So the other day, I went into a public restroom to change my kid’s diaper, and someone came in and went into one of the stalls, presumably to relieve herself. After handing the kid off to my husband and returning to the bathroom, I could hear this woman, who was in a nearby stall. And what I heard was that the whole time that this woman was in the bathroom, she was talking on the phone. So I mentioned this to my husband, who thought it wasn’t a big deal (or perhaps he was just trying to goad me - he asked if I knew how many times he had talked to me on the phone when he was going to the bathroom, just to make me afraid).

The way I figure it, it’s just rude and gross. You wouldn’t bring someone into the bathroom stall with you, right? So why let someone hear what’s going on? Worse yet, if they don’t know you’re in the bathroom and then they learn – through any number of telltale sounds – how would they feel about unwittingly and unwillingly accompanying you somewhere they’d rather not go? How would they feel about you? I mean, you could always say, “Can I call you back in a few minutes? I have to go to the bathroom.” Perhaps you’re too embarrassed being so blunt. But in that case, why would you want to risk having the person on the other end of the line find out otherwise?

Maybe I’m missing something. Why would someone stay on the phone? If it was a personal call, they could call back a few minutes later. If it was a business call, well, then, frankly, it’s pretty darn unprofessional. I tried to explain what was wrong with it to my husband – since he insisted I offer more an explanation than “Ewww”. The best I could come up with was the concept of full disclosure (which I’ve already explained). See, it’s different than a group of women going into the bathroom together and hanging out and continuing to talk even while one (or more than one) person is in the stall. At that point, all parties involved in the dialogue are aware of the setting and have agreed to continue talking. Women who don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in a stall stay silent and wait for the other person to come out, or themselves don’t talk while they are in the stall. Each individual decides her own comfort level. But that decision is taken away from someone on the phone.

But then again, perhaps I am off base. Perhaps it really isn’t a big deal and nobody really cares except me. I have enough strange quirks and psychoses. Food, for example, should never ever go in the bathroom. The scene from “Mean Girls” where Lindsey Lohan’s character is sitting in a toilet stall with her lunch tray in her lap, eating her lunch in the bathroom, seriously almost made me gag. I yell at the boys if they ever take food into the bathroom (even something still completely packaged; I have stopped short of taking it from their hands and tossing it into the garbage, but it’s taken much restraint).

So I wonder, am I over the top, like my husband thinks, or is this normal? My brother-in-law would agree with me; he doesn’t store his toothbrush in the bathroom for the same reason. I applaud that. But is having one or two people who share my beliefs really an endorsement for a crazy belief? I need to know!