The Trials of Motherhood

I've got three boys, ages 8, 5, and 3. Some days I feel a little overwhelmed. And this weekend they have a four day weekend, during which my husband is working until 6pm Friday and Monday, and I'll admit to feeling a little apprehension.

But so far, I really can't complain. Yes, two kids were destined for time-outs before they got out of the car coming home from school yesterday (for fighting), which didn't make me look forward to the weekend alone with them, but after that things settled down (and I reminded myself of our family's One Fussy Fellow At A Time rule - which, instead of its original intention of only allowing one kid to fuss at a time, now really just means I deal with only one kid at a time, since they've learned what the word fussy means and argue that they're not being fussy (just naughty, which is entirely different and thus doesn't apply). Great. I'm raising the crazy semantic police!).

This morning, we offered to watch one of my 8-year-old's classmates while his mom was in a meeting. To her, it's a favor. To me, it means my kids actually get along because they have someone else to play with. And then the kid across the street came over to play for a couple of hours. And while I did have to yell down for them to play quietly so I could get the 3-year-old down for his nap, I recognized that it was loud voices of enthusiasm as opposed to any fighting. In fact, I came downstairs to find the kids quietly playing restaurant.

Yes, this morning involved allowing them to play the Wii for longer than intended so I could finish an article I had to write (nothing like waiting for the last minute - it was due today), but since they haven't played the Wii for as long as I can remember - probably since the school year started - I don't feel too bad about it.

And this morning, as I ate my breakfast, I sat reading (skimming) Paula Polk Lillard's book, "Montessori, A Modern Approach". I specifically read the chapter "Montessori and Parents" (I was hoping to find some interesting quote to unify my article, but instead found only personal inspiration). The key idea I took away from this is that we as parents aren't here to control every action of our children and mold them into mini versions of ourselves, but rather to help them grow into their full potential. "The parent's role is that of a guardian, not a creator." I realize that I sometimes lose sight of that, and so it was nice to read that concise reminder.

In any case, being able to read this (and another article I'll have to blog about later about getting kids to eat healthier), and to be able to sit back and reflect on how I want to grow as a parent, really makes me realize that I don't have it so bad as a parent.

Take, for example,
this mother in India . I know my second labor was quick (baby born 17 minutes after I got to the hospital), but this lady definitely has me beat! Apparently, she was heading to her parents' home to be there to deliver the baby. Normally, I thought that happens in the 7th or 8th month. So I just have to ask. How late was that train? Talk about I.S.T. (India Standard Time). Apparently the baby hadn't learned about it yet.

And Bristol Palin is doing everything she can for her kid, and you really have to applaud her for that. Fine, her mother's insistence on Abstinence-only education proved less than effective in preventing teenage pregnancy in her own home, and by no means am I deferring blame to Sarah Palin for her daughter's choices, but you have to respect that she's serving herself up as a public example to showcase the struggles of teen moms. Hopefully her child doesn't grow up feeling unloved or unappreciated, and hopefully prevents others from going down the same path (as opposed to - "that's ridiculous. It wouldn't be like that for me," or other dismissive or self-sure attitudes of teens that her message is aimed at).

It is definitely a scary world out there, and we're each trying our best to make it safe for our children (like, by keeping my three young boys far from France and the likes of Frederic Mitterand, for example). But being with them right now, cuddling with one while the other two work nicely together on some project or another, I'm not worried about the rest of the world. My home is to be a haven, a nurturing place where they can be themselves, without judgment. I had the word calm in there, but then came back to my senses. There's a time for calm crafting, and a time for wearing your halloween costumes and running all around the house yelling and playing. And my home is also a place for that.