Iron Chef Suburbia

I was just reading the paper today, and it had an article about Michael Symon, a renowned Cleveland chef who is one of the finalists for Iron Chef America. For those of you not familiar with the show 'Iron Chef', well, where have you been? But seriously, the premise is that a chef competes against an Iron Chef, and the two are presented with a secret ingredient just before the competition begins, and they are given a fixed amount of time to cook a number of dishes, all incorporating the secret ingredient. The dishes are then tasted by a panel of judges, who rate the dishes on presentation, creativity, taste - or something like that. 'The Next Iron Chef' is a competition between a number of chefs who are vying to join the ranks of 'Iron Chef's, currently numbering four.

So anyhow, here in Cleveland we are quite proud that the world (or at least the TV audience of 'Iron Chef America') is getting to know what we in Cleveland have known for years - that Michael Symon is one heck of a chef. I may actually have to watch Sunday's finale to find out if Cleveland does win a championship in something or if we fall short once again. I have to confess, it doesn't bother me at all if we don't win, since it means Michael Symon won't have to split his time and may open yet another wonderful restaurant.

But here's the thing. On Iron Chef, Iron Chef America, and The Next Iron Chef, these competing chefs are given a high-end kitchen, a fully stocked pantry, and two assistants. And then they're asked to be creative. Fine, it's challenging and entertaining. But it's unattainable, unreal. It's not really the ultimate challenge. What I'd like to see is what I like to call 'Iron Chef Suburbia'. I challenge any of the chefs on the show - champion or otherwise - to come to my kitchen and create a healthy, tasty meal that my kids will eat before the kids have a meltdown. And as an added challenge, the contestants must stop any fights between the children and change any diapers, and let the dog out, and answer the phone if any of these things happen during the competition. Oh yes, and the contestants must use whatever ingredients happen to be on hand at the time, even if the homeowners didn't have a chance to go to the grocery store as they had planned.

I say, this winter, perhaps sometime in February, my block should host Iron Chef Suburbia. The contestants will cook at the same time in, say, three different houses (mine and two of my neighbors). The homeowners can be sous-chefs and assistants. Finally, the three families can get together in a fourth house, where the judging will be done by the four families - including the kids. We can invite the local paper and some television station over to share the findings. Then, the winner can enjoy some free advertising for his or her restaurant. Heck, we can make it a series, where each week, a different group of chefs can come to my house and cook for me (umm, I mean, compete).

This idea has some merit. Heck, why wait until February? Anyone interested in signing up now?