Darwinian Parenting
Cuteness, I believe, is inversely proportional to compliance. Darwin’s theory of natural selection – survival of the fittest – certainly proves true for children.
My two-month old, generally pretty innocent and well-mannered, has not let me sleep through the night yet. Do I resent him for it? Not in the least. I mean, one look at his wide brown eyes, tiny knobby nose between those chubby cheeks, or the little butt in his chin and I melt, even at four o’clock in the morning.
My five year old, when told that he’s cute, replies, “I’m not cute.” He says the baby is the cutest, because he’s the smallest. Then his two-year-old brother is next cutest. He’s just a little bit cute (“five-year-old cute”). His dad, however, being old, is not at all cute.
Sometimes, when my two-year-old is in the middle of his third huge tantrum of the morning - refusing to wear any clothing whatsoever while blocking any food from entering his mouth – I have to actively remind myself how cute he is and how adorable he really is (and chant “this too shall pass”) while trying to devise the best strategy to handle the errant behavior in a manner that will have the least number of undesired repercussions (if I bribe him with candy now, will he throw a tantrum tomorrow and expect candy; if I let him go to school wearing just a diaper, will he be emotionally scarred by the taunting of his classmates?)
His brother, meanwhile, doesn’t have to get by on his looks. He is still, I believe, so incredibly adorable, but with his wonderful behavior and his ability to reason, he’s got more assets in his favor.
So clearly, the older you are, the less you should have to rely on your cuteness to survive. For example, Bart Simpson is evidently not cute enough for Homer to tolerate his smart mouth. With that in mind, maybe people should be weary of voting for good-looking politicians.
Which makes me wonder: is the two-year-old lucky to have his big brother around to remind me that this phase will pass and that I just have to stay the course, or is it worse for him because I’m comparing his behavior to his brother’s? I suppose it really depends on how much sleep his younger brother let me get the night before.
Wait a minute. I learned about Darwin in Biology class. When did this turn into an Algebra lesson?
My two-month old, generally pretty innocent and well-mannered, has not let me sleep through the night yet. Do I resent him for it? Not in the least. I mean, one look at his wide brown eyes, tiny knobby nose between those chubby cheeks, or the little butt in his chin and I melt, even at four o’clock in the morning.
My five year old, when told that he’s cute, replies, “I’m not cute.” He says the baby is the cutest, because he’s the smallest. Then his two-year-old brother is next cutest. He’s just a little bit cute (“five-year-old cute”). His dad, however, being old, is not at all cute.
Sometimes, when my two-year-old is in the middle of his third huge tantrum of the morning - refusing to wear any clothing whatsoever while blocking any food from entering his mouth – I have to actively remind myself how cute he is and how adorable he really is (and chant “this too shall pass”) while trying to devise the best strategy to handle the errant behavior in a manner that will have the least number of undesired repercussions (if I bribe him with candy now, will he throw a tantrum tomorrow and expect candy; if I let him go to school wearing just a diaper, will he be emotionally scarred by the taunting of his classmates?)
His brother, meanwhile, doesn’t have to get by on his looks. He is still, I believe, so incredibly adorable, but with his wonderful behavior and his ability to reason, he’s got more assets in his favor.
So clearly, the older you are, the less you should have to rely on your cuteness to survive. For example, Bart Simpson is evidently not cute enough for Homer to tolerate his smart mouth. With that in mind, maybe people should be weary of voting for good-looking politicians.
Which makes me wonder: is the two-year-old lucky to have his big brother around to remind me that this phase will pass and that I just have to stay the course, or is it worse for him because I’m comparing his behavior to his brother’s? I suppose it really depends on how much sleep his younger brother let me get the night before.
Wait a minute. I learned about Darwin in Biology class. When did this turn into an Algebra lesson?
posted by BrainHickey | 10:28 PM
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