Witness This

So last week, after declaring his lifelong love of the Yankees while hosting Saturday Night Live, Cleveland's own LeBron James showed up at Game 1 of the playoffs between the Yankees and the Indians wearing a Yankees baseball cap.

Well, Cleveland was offended. Cleveland was appalled. Cleveland was angry. At Game 2, we saw signs saying things like "Witness the Heresy" and "Beat LeBronx Bombers." We love LeBron and he insulted our town by showing up AT HOME wearing the opponent's logo. Even Queen Latifah hesitated to admit her allegiance to the Yankees and only admitted it when pressed, but respectfully (since she was invited to throw the first pitch) did not wear Yankees gear.

Last Friday, the Plain Dealer had an article making fun of LeBron's "back the winner" philosophy. Connie Shultz's column yesterday even discussed the matter, and pointed out that it made Cleveland a laughing stock.

Well, okay, I'll admit, I was offended. At first. But now, as time has passed, I see it's really not so big a deal. So I'm going to play Devil's Advocate for a while. First of all, he's a longterm fan of the Yankees. He was seen in high school wearing a Yankees hat. He's loyal. He was probably excited to see them in the playoffs. He's a big man around here, and he should be free to be himself.

Secondly, we won. If anyone is embarrassed now, it should be him. But I doubt it. I don't think he should be. If he's a true Yankees fan, which I'm presuming he is, he's not going to hide his allegiance just because his team lost (although he should! Losers! All that money and they can't buy themselves a second win. Ha! - sorry, couldn't help myself. I was being too nice to the Yankees for too long).

Third, and here's an important one. We in Cleveland have put LeBron up on a pedestal. He's our golden boy. He joined the Cavs right after high school, and we wondered if he was mature enough to handle the pros. He is. Would he be as good as the hype? He is. He's a great athlete, a team player, an all-around good guy. Well, that's a heck of a lot of pressure to put on a guy, isn't it? That pedestal keeps getting higher and higher. And sooner or later, it's gotta give.

So think about it. LeBron has fallen. But how? He was not involved in dog fighting. There have been no sex scandals, drug scandals, domestic violence stories, gun possession charges, reckless driving, drunk driving, motorcycle accidents, or even allegations of links to the mob, mafia or terrorists.

No. Our fallen hero, LeBron James, is now the target of negative press because of a hat.

We in Cleveland have it pretty damn good.

When Science Fiction becomes Science Reality

Two weeks ago, I had viral meningitis. I went into the ER, where I got a CT scan (which said there was no aneurysm) and a lumbar puncture (where they drew out spinal fluid to analyze, and through which they discovered what was causing my headaches). I stayed in the ER overnight, then went home. When my headaches still continued the next few days, my husband asked whether my headache was different. In fact, it was. Whereas earlier in the week my headache was in my forehead, by the end of the week it wrapped around my head, and especially hurt in the base of the back of my head, and felt like I was wearing a hat way, way, way too tight.

Well, evidently, one of the possible side effects of a lumbar puncture is a headache. Instead of having your brain floating in a bunch of fluid, when they draw out all that spinal fluid, your brain just sits there. And it hurts. And that's what I got. It figures, really. This is why I don't gamble; I don't play the odds. They are rarely in my favor. When I had lasik done, I had to go back for a 2nd surgery, because my vision had slid a little, which happens to a small percentage of patients (maybe 10%? Look it up if it really matters to you).

I have had 2 epidurals, and never had this side effect, so I didn't even consider that it could happen. But then, I arrogantly didn't think the lumbar puncture was a big deal; the hopeless optimist in me viewed it as getting an epidural without dealing with childbirth.

Well, here's the sci-fi part of the picture. The pain management department offers a treatment called a Blood Patch to cure lumbar puncture headaches. The idea behind it is that they draw blood from your arm and inject it into your epidural space to form a patch in the hole of the injection site of the lumbar puncture. Here's some more information about it. Crazy, huh? Well, I had that done. I went into the hospital for a couple of hours, then went home. My back hurt pretty badly for a few hours, but that was it. The headache was - and remains - gone.

And now I'm all set to dance at my brother's wedding in less than three weeks.

Ode to the Meninges

“Neutral zone infraction. Five yard penalty. Repeat second down.” The little spaces in between that are so taken for granted. Hmm. The lull before the storm. The space between the tip of your toes and the inside of your shoes. Your clear nostrils. Life is made up of so many things that are taken for granted, so many cushions without which life would be unbearable. And yet we overlook them. The brief moment between when you do something stupid and when you realize it. Between when you run that red light and when the flash of the speed camera goes off. The time between when you take your medicine and when it kicks in. And, of course, that matter between the skull and the brain – the meninges.

A week ago today, I woke up with a headache unlike one I had ever known. It was throbbing and had me nauseated. I somehow managed to get the boys to school, then slept, with the little one wandering around the bedroom until he too fell asleep. The babysitter arrived at noon, at which time I handed over the little one and went back to sleep. I picked the boys up from school, gave them a snack, then let them watch tv while I slept. I got up for about 30 minutes after the boys went to bed, then went back to bed. Tuesday morning, since I didn’t feel any better, my husband took me into the ER, where they discovered that my headaches were caused by Viral Meningitis. I stayed in the hospital overnight and have been waiting for the headaches to go away since.

I’m a lot better now, as is evidenced by the fact that I’m actually able to get on the computer. But still, it’s the effects of drugs working right now, and once the drugs fade, the headaches will return.

But anyhow, the point is more that when they say to appreciate the little things in life, they never mention the meninges. And I think they should. So here’s to you, meninges. Thank you for separating my brain from my skull. Thank you, spinal fluid, for providing a cushion in which my brain can float. I appreciate you. I really do. Now, get back to work so I can, too.